From the Ashes
by LAWchan89
Summary: Pacifica has no clue what to say to a grieving Dipper after the Pines family suffers a devastating loss. But in finally opening up to her, both of them not only gain closure but a recollection of the sense of contentment they ultimately found in each other.


It had been a long week for all of them, but finally Pacifica Northwest-Pines was beginning to feel at peace. Unwrapping the towel from her slim figure and replacing it with her silk lavender bathrobe, the knot in her stomach began to unravel and she breathed deeply. All this stress and grief, planning the funeral, being the rock the Pines family had needed in this dark period, it couldn't be doing her much good. In fact she'd barely thought about herself the past several days, about...No, this was hardly the time to bring it up. He was going through so much right now. She'd wait a little longer.

Shutting off the bathroom light, the blonde heiress made her way through the upstairs hallway. The penthouse was eerily quiet for this time of night. No laughter, no smell of fine wine on anyone's breath, no screams of delight as they partook in their usual weekend activities. Her husband's lack of humor wasn't so unusual, it took a lot of prodding to get Dipper to loosen up even under normal circumstances, but Pacifica had never seen his twin sister go so long without that contagious smile on her face. Peeking into the guest room, opening the door as quietly as possible, she saw Mabel lying curled up under the covers with her back to her. Whether she was awake or asleep it was impossible to tell, not that she would acknowledge anyone if she wasn't. Pacifica may have provided the finances but it was Mabel who pulled out all the stops to make sure her great-uncle was laid to rest in the way he would have wanted. Out to sea on a boat, just like he and his brother had always dreamed they would. Now that the service was all over, it had been really difficult for the normally cheery and confident Pines girl to cope. She had been especially close with him ever since she was twelve, one of the only people in her life that understood and embraced her quirky personality. And as she'd said in her eulogy earlier that day, the world "felt a little less fun" now that he was gone. Mabel had been utterly anguished all day, and Pacifica had stepped aside to let her clutch her brother for support, understanding that right now they needed each other and that she couldn't share the depth of their heartbreak. Maintaining her distance, she took her time cleaning up the living room that night while the twins had a low-key argument over whether or not Mabel was too emotionally wracked to make the long drive home. Until finally Dipper put his foot down and practically ordered her to sleep in the guest room. But he wasn't angry at her, not at all. He was clearly worried about her, protective of her like he had been their whole lives.

Pacifica wished she had someone in her family she loved as much as Dipper loved his sister, his built-in life partner of twenty-five years and counting. But she didn't have a life like the Pines twins did, she'd learned that at a young age and lashed out at Mabel because of it. And even to this day, even after years of close friendship, even after Mabel made her an honorary Pines long before she married Dipper, the Northwest girl didn't think she could ever make up for that first summer of teasing and torment. It was Dipper of all people who had recognized how trapped she was, who had encouraged her to break free as soon as she could. And she had, the moment she turned eighteen, taken her inheritance and left her parents' house behind her forever. How could she not fall in love with the boy who had been the first to see her for who she really was? It was so childish even thinking about it, but she knew from the moment he found her in that dark secret room in the mansion and told her she could be her own person that he was _it_. And she had clung to that for years hoping someday he would return to Gravity Falls and ask her to be his. Thankfully, he did.

Dipper sat with his back to her when she entered their bedroom, closing the door behind her. Of course he was still up. "She's asleep," she half-truthed.

"Good." It was a scarily blunt reply, devoid of feeling, and now Pacifica was worried. A week since they heard Stan had passed and her husband had yet to exhibit any sort of breakdown. "I'm sorry I didn't ask you if she could stay the night."

"Did you think I'd say 'no'?" Pacifica raised her eyebrow. Slowly she came up behind him, kneeling on the mattress as she drew closer and placed her hands on his shoulders. He stiffened. "Dipper…"

"What?"

"Dipper, talk to me."

"About what?"

"About how much this hurts," she elaborated, pressing her nose to the top of his head and inhaling the scent of his dark brown hair.

"I'm fine."

"Come _on_ ," Pacifica said more firmly than she intended. "No matter how many times you say that, I don't buy it. And neither does Mabel. At least she cried it out, you just keep bottling it in."

"Bottling what in?" Dipper turned his head to look at her. "He's gone, alright? Out on the water. My goal was to get through the funeral in one piece and I did. Now I'm...I'm looking ahead."

"You loved him." She swung her legs around so she was sitting beside him, her fingers still weaving through his locks. "I know how much you loved him. I see some of him in you."

"He was a liar and a convicted criminal," Dipper muttered, yet he leaned into her touch.

"He cared about you and your sister more than anyone else," Pacifica insisted earnestly.

"He always loved Mabel more than me."

"You know that's not true." She stared at his profile, his still dry eyes wandering away from hers. "He's not suffering anymore...and now he can be with his twin brother again."

"And that's probably the only good thing that came out of this."

"You know what, _fine_." Pacifica sharply withdrew her hand and stood up. "When you're ready to talk, you come get me." Stomping towards the door, fully intending to sleep on the couch in the living room, she seethed. "You Pines are the most stubborn people I've ever known, it's useless trying to-"

"Pacifica, don't go!" That tone stopped her dead in her tracks. That voice that brought back the image of a scared twelve-year-old boy with a stupid-looking pine tree cap and an old journal in his hands. "Stay here. I...I need you to - to stay with me."

 _Oh Dip…_ All frustration evaporating, she flew back across the room to his side as if an invisible force was propelling her. Seeing how his expression had morphed into one of restrained sorrow, her heart swelled with what she could only identify as compassion.

"I never forgave him," Dipper clenched his fists against his knees. "For all the lying, all the stuff he kept from us for half our lives." Pacifica watched his chocolate-colored eyes well up and she latched her arm around him, her other hand gently uncurling his fist to lace her fingers through his. "I never _told_ him."

"You didn't have to," she shook her head. "He already knew."

"How do you know?" Dipper's voice caught threateningly, and Pacifica felt a slight panic surge inside her. He was about to break. He was about to burst into tears and she didn't think she'd be able to bear it. "I felt like there was always this silent grudge we had against each other, all because of everything that happened that summer. He - he said I reminded him too much of Grunkle Ford. That I cared more about investigating mysteries than my family. Even Grunkle _Ford_ patched things up with him, but I didn't. And now - now it's too late."

"Sweetie, this was years ago-"

"It's true though! Even Mabel called me out on it!"

"You two say stuff you don't mean all the time."

"This is different!" Dipper slapped a hand over his eyes, but his wife already saw the rivulets escape down his cheeks. "He probably _hated_ me for it! And I didn't realize how much Stan meant to me until he was gone…He's really _gone_ …"

"I know, come here…" Flinging her other arm around him, Pacifica pulled him against her chest and stroked his hair. Dipper slowly untensed in her embrace before letting go at last, drenching Pacifica's neck in his tears. But she simply sat quietly and kissed the side of his head, holding him as tight as she could while dry heaving sobs poured out of him. "Listen," she gently broke the silence once he'd quieted down, "I'm not very good at comforting."

"You're doing pretty good so far," Dipper's muffled voice piped up, and she actually had to suppress a snicker.

"But your uncle loved you. Your parents love you. Your sister _worships_ you. Let me tell you what a family that doesn't love you is like: They don't yell at you when you're not doing what's best for yourself, they yell when you're making _them_ look bad. They don't even yell, they just shoot you a condescending look and tell you to get out of their sight. You're - you're not worth getting emotional over, you're _nothing_. I left my family and never looked back. And they didn't care. They just gave up on me." She cupped his face and rubbed her thumb over his wet cheek, "And if there was ever a grudge between you and Stan, it was because you both cared too much to give up on each other." Angling his face upward, she tenderly kissed his salty lips. "You need to learn to forgive, Dipper…" Then she pushed back his bangs and pressed her lips to his birthmark. "Starting with yourself."

"When did you get so smart?" Dipper breathed, their foreheads touching as he cracked a slight smile.

"I learned a lot about myself in the six years we were apart," Pacifica replied, feeling the familiar warmth of his arms around her waist as he kept her close. "Sometimes I still feel like that freaked-out little girl cowering in the corner. Then I remember you jumping in front of me to trap that lumberjack ghost in the mirror, and I remember that there'll always be that one person looking out for me. Who thought I was worth protecting."

"You're worth way more than just that..." Dipper sealed her lips with a deeper kiss, then pulled back a bit. "You know I mean 'worth' like your good heart and how beautiful you are inside and out, not 'worth' like 'money', right?"

"No way, you dork," Pacifica teased, rubbing noses with him. "I know how much I'm worth in money anyways."

"Good, just clearing that up."

"Dipper, I'm serious though," she placed her fingers over his lips, looking him straight in the eye. "Don't beat yourself up over things you can't go back and change. Look at yourself the way I see you...a brave, selfless, smart, hardworking, and sweet guy. You can be a totally unbearable know-it-all sometimes, but you're still my little Dip and I love you."

"Love you too, Paz…" Tears gathered on the bridges of his eyes about to fall again and Pacifica hugged him to her once more, rocking him as he grieved. This time she cried along with him, her heart overflowing with an empathy that, for the longest time, she never knew she was capable of feeling. It was easier to live when she didn't put herself on a pedestal higher that the rest of her peers, back when she had only been interested in maintaining her spot on that pedestal. And along with that, it was easier to love.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah...yeah I really do, actually." She must have still looked thoughtful when they pulled apart because Dipper was gazing at her concernedly, tucking a lock of blonde hair behind her ear. "What's wrong?"

"You have every right to hate me, you know," Pacifica met his eyes almost shyly. "I mean, since we're bringing up _back then_."

Dipper looked genuinely shocked for a moment before realization dawned on him. Then he nodded, "Yeah I do, don't I?"

"I'm an heiress. I'm cheating at life."

Dipper had to let out a laugh as she echoed his own words, then cupped her face in his hands and left a lingering kiss on her forehead. "Yep, you're cheating at life. By making the rest of us look bad. Pacifica Northwest, who used half of her fortune to expand her hometown to offer more houses and jobs to people. Who set up all these charities to correct the mistakes of her ancestors. All before she turned twenty-one. What was I doing at that age? Running around the country investigating the possibilities of more interdimensional portals while my mom and sister kept calling to make sure I was feeding and bathing myself."

Pacifica raised her eyebrows, "Oh that reminds me, did-?"

" _Yes_ , I took a shower today," Dipper rolled his eyes, then took his wife's hands in his. "The point is first impressions are usually wrong. I know what a strong, determined person you can be when you put your mind to it. And unlike your family, you know how to utilize your privileges. You're... _inspiring_ , Pacifica. You make me feel like I can do anything." He sighed, "Look, I know I kinda have a hard time trusting people-"

"Wha - _no_ ," Pacifica cut in mockingly. "Dipper Pines, with his trusty journal with the huge black words _'Trust No One'_ , has a hard time trusting people."

"Point taken. But you're stubborn like me too, you're not always trusting either. And while I was falling over myself trying to talk to other girls, I never once cared about how I acted around you. I think - I think we both just saw the raw person underneath. And I don't know about you, but even after seeing all the flaws you have and mistakes you've made...I still liked what I saw."

"I...I...Dipper, I'm pregnant!" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them, and Dipper's eyes bugged out of his head. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I wasn't gonna tell you today! Why did I tell you _now?!_ I mean you said all of that and I got caught up in the moment and it was perfect - but good God, you're still mourning your great-uncle! This isn't what you needed to hear today-!"

"This is _exactly_ what I needed to hear today!" Dipper exclaimed, still looking as if he'd been clubbed over the head. "You're having a baby, you're...you're having our child. This is - this - wow. _Wow!_ Do you know what this means?"

"Morning sickness, poopy diapers, no sleep, more time off work than either of us should be taking-"

"Pacifica," He slid off the bed and knelt down in front of her, still grasping her hands. "It means I can finally give you what you deserve. A family that loves you."

Tears spilled down Pacifica's face as she drew in a shuddering breath, dropping her head to her chest. What on earth did this man see in her to make her happiness his ultimate goal? From her perspective, she didn't deserve him or anything that he was promising her. But still, _still_ he saw something within that she couldn't. And maybe it didn't need to be questioned. Maybe for once...she should just be content. Sobbing gently as she hung her head, she whispered _"thank you"_ through the tears dripping off her lips.

"Aw man Grunkle Stan, I wish you were here to see this…" Dipper swiped at his own eyes, placing a hand tenderly over Pacifica's stomach. "I'm gonna be a dad...and our kid'll have a crazy aunt to visit during the summer."

This time Pacifica really did burst out laughing, and Dipper joined in. How in the one day could everything be so terrible and so wonderful at the same time? But then again, as they both very well knew, that was pretty much their lives in a nutshell.

* * *

Dipper exited the bedroom into the hallway as he headed for the bathroom, finally resigning to get some sleep. He stopped in his tracks as soon as he heard the guest room door creak open.

"Mazel tov, Dippin' Sauce."

"I knew you weren't asleep," he chuckled, swinging his head around to meet the dark brown eyes identical to his. "Gotta love that twin intuition." Mabel's eyes were still red and puffy from earlier that day, but her smile had returned to her face in full force as she strode into the hall and hugged Dipper tightly. "You okay?"

"A _lot_ better now," Mabel mumbled into his shoulder. "Felt like it was the end of the world today, ya know? Now it's like a fresh start."

"Hope you know how to knit infant sizes," Dipper rested his head on top of hers, priding himself on that three inches of height he managed to gain over her.

"Oh, Mini-Pines is getting _way_ more than a sweater. I'm thinkin' a full bedazzle job on their little bald head-"

"Go back to bed, Crazy Aunt Mabel," Dipper scoffed as he pulled back from her, ruffling her hair before steering her towards the guest room door. "And keep your bedazzle gun away from my child."

"Is that before or after I show them how to use the grappling hook Stan left me?"

"Go to sleep, Mabel!" Dipper blew out of his lips exasperatedly as his twin cackled evilly before shutting herself inside the room once more.

Then he smiled. Mabel was making jokes again. Pacifica still loved him and was carrying his baby. And he hadn't made Stan hate him all those years ago.

It was all okay. Everything was going to be okay.

 _THE END_


End file.
